Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
