You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
