tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
