Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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