I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
