Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Randomize
