tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
