The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize