That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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