If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
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