Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
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I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
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I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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