dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
