Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize