He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Randomize
