I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
