i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
