After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Randomize
