There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
