dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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