I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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