Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
