There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
