I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
