Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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