we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
