Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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