i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
It's Friday. Sex?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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