I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I have post one night stand depression
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
