You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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