awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize