You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize