Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Dear god my vagina.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize