i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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