As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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