Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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