Your mouth is God's brothel.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.