yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
