She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
