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• (618): View more from Illinois

  The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass

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• (310): View more from California

  I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  she sounds like chewbacca in bed

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• (909): View more from California

  ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination

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  These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious

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• (904): View more from Florida

  You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.

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• (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.

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• (647): View more from Ontario

  Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.

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  These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale

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• (619): View more from California

  According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.

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• (601): View more from Mississippi

  Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.

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• (518): View more from New York

  I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"

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• (302): View more from Delaware

  My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"

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• (971): View more from Oregon

  I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?

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