You really coming over, don't trick.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
It's official drugs can't kill me
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"