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how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
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