Texts From Last Night

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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I'm not a mortal combat character

  (410): View more from Maryland

  but my vagina is

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  (860): I'm not a mortal combat character (410): but my vagina is http://tfl.nu/01am
  Replies (16) Good night (1550) Bad night (642)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.

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  (336): i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets. http://tfl.nu/gfq6
  Replies (53) Good night (3886) Bad night (911)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  it hurts more in the daytime

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  (512): it hurts more in the daytime http://tfl.nu/5j5m
  Replies (13) Good night (724) Bad night (2469)
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  (+07): View more from

  tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?

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  (+07): tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance? http://tfl.nu/7v50
  Replies (34) Good night (5404) Bad night (1069)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women

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  (678): nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women http://tfl.nu/ny5s
  Replies (11) Good night (5071) Bad night (3092)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.

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  (847): You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive. http://tfl.nu/z8kz
  Replies (19) Good night (7298) Bad night (1367)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him

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  (304): His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him http://tfl.nu/2mpu
  Replies (15) Good night (3577) Bad night (2041)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..

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  (970): dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them.. http://tfl.nu/vwfx
  Replies (6) Good night (3151) Bad night (1563)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.

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  (360): Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours. http://tfl.nu/m716
  Replies (4) Good night (581) Bad night (1482)
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  (845): View more from New York

  I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...

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  (845): I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex... http://tfl.nu/82t9
  Replies (3) Good night (1429) Bad night (435)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.

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  (757): Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers. http://tfl.nu/o7tu
  Replies (3) Good night (492) Bad night (490)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.

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  (913): Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list. http://tfl.nu/qsv4
  Replies (1) Good night (603) Bad night (355)
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  (518): View more from New York

  I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are

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  (518): I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are http://tfl.nu/esmd
  Replies (0) Good night (655) Bad night (339)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?

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  (440): You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off? http://tfl.nu/y1qy
  Replies (1) Good night (265) Bad night (594)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.

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  (403): Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places. http://tfl.nu/bd5r
  Replies (0) Good night (632) Bad night (117)

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