The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?