I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Randomize
