we have officially lost it.
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Randomize
