I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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