I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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