im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
