Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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