And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
they're reeeeeally big trays
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo