p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
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Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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