where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
should my penis look like a turkey
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt