guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Is it because I queefed?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.