I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
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