do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I intend to get homeless drunk
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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