is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
