You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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