Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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