his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
