We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
