As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
