Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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