I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
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so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
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The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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