if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
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