last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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