You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
