Your tits are I can't wait for
Porn is love you can see.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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