First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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