The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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